Friendship

I believe that friendship is an indispensable part of life. Throughout school, I was painfully shy and had a very hard time making friends. Although I had a few friends throughout school, it was in college that I developed the friend dimension in myself, learning what being friends was all about.

I believe that friendship is about sharing your shortcomings as well as your strengths. I like when friends open up about mistakes that they have made since no one is perfect. I hate when friends try to act like they are perfect. I had one friend that always boasted that everyone thought she was perfect and never shared any real shortcomings with me. So I was never very close to her.
Throughout my childhood, my best friends were these twins. We came from very similar backgrounds and have known each other since we were five. However, I was very different from the two of them. Although we got along, I never opened up completely to them, and I do not believe that they did to me, either. They did not understand many of the problems that they had since they never had similar feelings. Even when we were children, we had different tastes. I always loved to play dolls and house, which they never were fond of. Despite our differences, I still thought of them as my best friends. I still know them today, but do not keep much in touch with them.
In eighth grade, I went to boarding school, and my friend was this girl whom I was with 24/7. We had a lot in common, such as being animal lovers, bookworms, and introverts. I have fought with her more than I have fought with anyone else, combined, but I was still extremely close to her.
Later in my life, I finally had a very close friend. She and I had similar beliefs and dreams. However, I was lacking in maturity and street-smartness while she was exceptionally mature beyond her years and knew how to live on her own. I considered her my best friend. She, however, did not believe in best friends and considered her boyfriend her best friend. During the years that I knew her, she was mostly into her relationship with her boyfriend and not much into friendships. However, I learned a lot from her about life. I do not think that she valued me as much as I valued her, however. I would also like to now comment on the idea that your significant other is your best friend. I really do not believe that your significant other should be the one to be your best friend because first and foremost, your relationship with that other is of a romantic partner, not a friend, although the significant other can and should also be a friend to you. It is like saying that your mother or sister is your best friend. By saying that your significant other is a best friend is placing him/her in comparison with your other friends, which is like comparing apples to oranges. I believe that you should have a platonic best friend whom you consider your best friend when you have a significant other, even if you are closer to your significant other. Platonic friendship is irreplaceable and indispensable. Maybe when you get married, it will end up that your best friend is your spouse since you share all of your life's tasks, journeys, and lessons with the spouse, much like you did with your platonic best friend. However, when you are unmarried, you should keep a platonic best friend. If I was in an unmarried romantic relationship, I would consider my closest platonic friend my best friend, rather than my boyfriend. It is only when I enter marriage and take an oath to always be there for the other,that I should consider my husband my best friend. Also, after marriage, one does not have as much time for friends as before, as friendships might end up not being as much a priority. However, when I marry, I hope to still stay strong friends with all my friends even if I have different priorities.

I found another close friend in Carly whom I acted in Night School with. I was very impressed with her from the moment that I saw her and wanted to be friends with her. She really came across as very intellectual and talented and had many similar interests to me. I became friends with her after we performed Night School when she founded the Lipstick Lunch gathering where we wear lipstick and catch up on our busy metropolitan lives. I think of the Lipstick Lunch girls as my clique of friends, my best friends right now. Carly and I have gotten very close since starting the Lipstick Lunch. We come from different backgrounds, but have a lot of the same thoughts and beliefs. We both love literature, writing, and acting. Even though we come from different backgrounds, we still appreciate and respect each other's backgrounds. I loved visiting her family home. Carly told me that she wants to visit India one day.

I have also gotten very close to Kerry from Lipstick Lunch. She is so attractive in her sunny, bubbly, chirpy, and happy personality! I knew from the first Lipstick Lunch that I met her that we would make great friends. She and I both love reading and creative writing and are romantics at heart. We went to the Mermaid Parade together. Carly, Kerry, and I hang out as three many times, and it has been a lot of fun.

I like everyone in Lipstick Lunch for their different personalities. The other two original Lipstick Lunch girls, other than Carly and me, are Cynthia and Mireille. I love how Cynthia is so rational and calm, the voice of reason just as Miranda is for Carrie in Sex and the City. Carly is like Carrie in her confidence, bubbly personality, and love for journalistic writing. Carly, like Carrie, is also the leader of the group, the one that runs Lipstick Lunch. I am like Charlotte (as I mentioned before) in being romantic and believing in fairy tales.
I admire Mireille for being confident, intellectual, and proud of who she is. I love that she reads classics all the time. Just like me, she likes writing and acting. I admire Kait for being so intellectual, literary, and sophisticated. I would like to know Kait better as she comes to more Lipstick Lunches and get closer to her. Elena is one girl that I brought into Lipstick Lunch. Carly said that she added dynamic to the group and that she is a perfect balance of the left and right brains. Elena is so sweet and easy to get along with. I also really love the charming, charismatic Lada for being so cool, relaxed, and yet smart. I have gotten along very well with Alex whom I feel is a kindred spirit. She and I both enjoy fantasy, magic,  literature, and Spanish. I also really love Cindy who is so warm, friendly, bubbly, knowledgeable, and intelligent. Adrienne is a new girl from a Pop Culture Conference that I brought into Lipstick Lunch whom everyone loved. She is so friendly and easy-going and intellectual and artistic. I am so glad that she will be coming to future Lipstick Lunches. I will also write about Allison, Kerry's sister who was fortunately able to come to Lipstick Lunch when she was in NYC. I really loved Allison from before I met her. First of all, I love the name, Allison! Second of all, Carly & Kerry said very charming things about her. When I met Allison, she was so charismatic, bubbly, friendly, and easy to click with! She fit in right well with the Lipstick Lunch clique. I hope I get to see her again.
Whenever I am Lipstick Lunch, I am happy and can be myself and sincere and can attract people to me as a friend. I remember when I was talking about the Mermaid Parade, I told this new girl that she should come and that I would love to have her there! And I felt so happy and sincere saying that.
Writing about Lipstick Lunch has made me so happy, loosened me up, and write from the heart! I am so glad to finally have a group of friends and hope that we can be friends forever!
I would also like to write about another special friend, Leslie. We went to elementary school together and were best friends in first grade. She and I had a lot in common even at that young age. We are both imaginative, creative, and artistic. We both have a delicious outside-the-box imagination. We are both interested in writing and theatre although it would be an understatement to say that she is ahead of me in those fields. Leslie owns a dance theatre company called the Movement Workshop Group, which has produced beautiful, unique, ingenious pieces! Her pieces were the inspiration for a novel that I am working on. Leslie, like me, is like a kaleidoscope, full of different colors and mirrors at once. She even created a dance piece called Snowglobe where she, in one part, represented a snow globe turned upside-down! In my ideal life, I would be best friends with Leslie in elementary school and even beyond. I was thus very complimented when she told another of my friends and also one of her friends that we were best friends in first grade! So I guess that I do have more of my ideal life than I think! I know that Leslie will be a wonderful addition to the Lipstick Lunch where she will fit in well!

I will also write about Melissa, a classmate from my doctoral career. I first met her in a Caribbean Literature class. From there, itself, she showed herself to be unique, creative, and intellectual. Since then, I wanted to be friends with her. Everyone says that she is a lot of fun! We have so far had a few deep-bonding experiences where she shared with me stories about her childhood and the very romantic story of how she met her now fiancé. Just like me, she loves fairy tales! That is something that you do not find in many people. I got to hang out with her again after years a few months ago, between both our very busy schedules. She also would like to join Lipstick Lunch, and I hope that on a day in the near future, the schedules or hers and Lipstick Lunch will click.
A lot of classical writers have written about friendship. I will explore the topic further. My favorite professor from Rutgers, Professor Ronald Levao, held a graduate seminar on Friendship in Shakespeare. I wish that I could have attended it so that I could offer some intellectual perspectives on friendship. You will hear more from me on this topic once I have researched it further.

Left Brain Vs. Right Brain

I have always been intrigued by the matter of the left brain vs. the right brain. Some say that it is just a myth. However, a certified psychologist, herself, told me that it is a proven scientific fact.

I believe that I am a perfect balance of the left-brain and the right-brain. I do not know whether this seriously counts, but I took a quiz, which determined that I was a perfect balance. Someone that was an expert in psychology also told me that I am a perfect balance. I am left-brained in the sense of being logical, analytical (sometimes even overanalyzing), and having an affinity for mathematics. I am right-brained in the sense of being creative, having a larger-than-life imagination, having a deep-rooted passion for the arts, being full of feelings, and daydreaming all the time.



If there is anything that I would be more, it would be right-brained. I am more artistic than scientific. I majored in English Literature and minored in Theatre Arts. There was no question of majoring in a practical or scientific major, which never appealed to me. I love reading, creative writing, music, theatre, and dance. And I am full of feeling from the heart. I am daydreaming all the time; 95% of the time in the real world & 5% of the time in the real world! My dissertation is on fairies and fairy tales. My friend, Carly & I have that in common, being wrapped in a fantasy world. I remember Carly telling a friend of her's that was hanging out with us to join us in having a fantasy world! However, unlike Carly, I think that being in my own world intimates people or draws them away from me.

I would like to implement the accurate side of my brain for the right situations. I am fairly successful in doing so. During sticky emotional situations, I hide my feelings and try to behave logically and do the right thing. There was one time when someone else was getting what I wanted, but I kept my feelings to myself since no wrong was done by him/her and tried to encourage him/her on the outside while cursing him/her on the inside. However, sometimes in acting and singing, it is hard for me to get out of my head since I am so focused on doing a good job. One musical theatre teacher gave me the feedback that I come across as very intellectual, but I need to be in touch with my emotions. I was in touch with my emotions, but I was just too concerned with doing a good job. I hope in the future that I can loosen up more and just follow my heart in art.

I had written in another blog about how in this blog, I think that I mostly write from the left brain since I do not want to expose my secrets and intimate feelings to the world. It is in my personal diary that I am able to use my right brain. However, I would like to express the right brain in the diary more from now on since it is a critical part of who I am.

Writing and Acting

I have always deemed that writing and acting are two art forms that complement one another. I majored in English and minored in Theatre Arts.

Everyone says that English and Theatre go together. I have found that many actors majored in English in college. It seems to be the most popular non-theatre major for actors. One main example is a Shakespeare acting teacher who is an expert on acting and teaching acting. He has directed more Shakespearean plays than anyone on record in Europe and the United States.

I think that writing is a deeper art as the writers go to the very core of the art and create it. I believe that anyone who can write has the natural instinct to act. Writers who are most in touch with their emotions and passions can externally express those emotions and passions. One acting teacher said that she loves when writers take her class; that when one writer took her class, she was in love with him. Shakespeare would have made an excellent actor and even made cameo appearances in many of his plays.

On the flip side, there are also many actors that have turned to writing. Julie Andrews wrote several children's books under the pen name, Julie Edwards. I really loved her books, The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles and Mandy (both of which my Mom's cousin introduced me to) as a child. Julie Andrews wrote as well as a classic children's author.  

In writing, there is the matter of the negative capability style versus the egotistical sublime style. The negative capability style is the capability to negate oneself, to come out of oneself and completely disappear into the character. Shakespeare is a classic example. All of his characters, Hamlet, Macbeth, etc. are not Shakespeare, and none of the writer is reflected in them. The egotistical sublime is the opposite--the charming of the reader into the perspective of the writer. William Wordsworth and John Milton are examples. For example, some part of Milton is reflected in his characaters, such as Adam and Satan in Paradise Lost.

 

 

There is the analogous comparison between styles in acting, between the chameleon actor and the evergreen actor. The chameleon actor is like a chameleon--an actor that can disappear into the character, shedding all aspects of his/her personality. IMDB credits Kathy Bates as the textbook example of disappearing into character. Meryl Streep is another revered chameleon actress. On the other hand, the evergreen actor is one that maintains his/her charming trademark personality throughout all of his/her roles. Tom Cruise is one evergreen actor.

 

At HB Studio, the terms used for the chameleon actor and the evergreen actor were the character-plus-you and you-plus-character, respectively. At HB Studio, one teacher said that at auditions, the casting directors want to see the you-plus-character since they want to see who for you are in the audition. On the other hand, usually in the Academy Awards, it is the chameleon actors that get nominated. The evergreen actors only win when there are no chameleons in the running.

My favorite actor and first crush, Aamir Khan said that Bollywood is full of evergreen actors with trademark personalities, but he prefers the chameleon actor! I just love Aamir Khan and all he stands for, all his philosophies! He is so serious about acting and really dedicated to it. I am so glad that he played the Indian Romeo in my favorite movie, Qayamat se Qayamat Tak, an Indian version of Romeo and Juliet, one of my favorite plays! I always thought myself that Bollywood is about evergreen actors, typecasting, and trademark personalities.

I have been taught that an actor is different from a star. A star is all about glamour while an actor is about raw. bloodshedding,cut-and-dry acting. In the past, the trademarks of acting were all about glamour and stardom while acting is more of a focus now.

Audrey Hepburn is a mixture of a chameleon actor, an evergreen actor, acting, and glamour. In all of her roles that I have seen in Roman Holiday, Sabrina, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Love in the Afternoon, My Fair Lady, Funny Face, The Children's Hour, and A Nun's Story, she came across as sweet and demure. In the role of a teacher in The Children's Hour and in the role of a nun in A Nun's Story, she had challenging roles that deviated from her usual glamorous, romantic roles. She did a good job of shedding her romantic side in The Children's Hour, and I really saw her as an intelligent teacher that cared about her children. In The Nun's Story, I still saw the glamorous aspect of her personality. I think that the glamor will remain with her no matter what role she has. I keep a lot of Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe dolls in various roles on the window seat in my room as inspiration.

As a writer and actor, I would like to have a combination of an emergence into other characters and a display of my own characters. I would like to have a trademark. Someone told me that in the roles that I play, I am able to express a real part of myself, innocence in my character. He told me that about my performance as a free-spirited, eccentric character, Shelly in Moonchildren. I also played a call girl who was under the cover of a school teacher in Night School. I received the feedback that I came across as demure in that role. I would like innocence to be my trademark in writing and acting. I was fascinated to find that on Wikipedia, it lists Rosamond Lehmann, Katherine Mansfield, and Jean Rhys as naïve writers.

 

I would like to come across as innocent, but informed as an artist. I would like to explore the following dimensions of myself in writing and acting--the sweet, innocent, ingénue, the classical girl, the free-spirited circus girl, the star imaged leading lady, the enchanting, magical persona, the emotional character, and the passionate character. I particularly like the role of Lilli in Carnival, which represents a delicious amalgamation of these traits as a free-spirited, innocent ingénue that takes part in the magic of the carnival.

Sex and the City

There used to be a time when the earlier, prudish version of myself would never watch Sex and the City, never wanting to be associated with sex. However, having grown up over the years, I now enjoy Sex and the City. And the show did not even end up being as dirty as I predicted! I got into Sex and the City a few months ago and have since watched many episodes and the two movies. I appreciate about Sex and the City the fashion, humor, and mentions about writing. As I mentioned, I am most like the character, Charlotte.



I am a true romantic at heart that believes in fairy tales and dreams of a family.

I love how Charlotte has been termed the "modern day Audrey Hepburn." I read some WikiHow articles on how to be and dress like Charlotte. One of the pointers on how to dress like Charlotte that caught my eye was, "Feeling a little naughty? Play peekaboo!"

I love Charlotte's preppy, classical style. I appreciate all of the outfits that I have pasted here.

I would really like to own a pink outfit like the first one that I pasted. And I love cupcakes, and it is just my style to wear a cupcake apron when baking cupcakes! I adore how Lilly has a matching daughter cupcake apron.

I also appreciate the self-assured, bold character of Carrie! And I appreciate the way that Carrie is so fashion-forward!

I love how the show centers on writing and particularly Carrie as a writer as I love writing. I really appreciate Carrie's appreciation of writing. I like how she wrote a book about the relationship experiences of her and her friends. And the episode where she commented on a book party stood out to me. I love how In Sex and the City 2, Carrie mentions that she is a fan of the Middle East because of Scheherazade. That shows that she really is into storytelling.

I am fascinated by Carrie's bold personality. Only someone with courage would write about sex. And being a smoker completes her personality. There was a time when I completely avoided all smokers since I was grossed out by them. However, now for some reason, although I would never smoke myself, I think that being a smoker fits Carrie.

In addition to Charlotte's style on Sex and the City, I love Carrie's style on the prequel, The Carrie Diaries. Carrie always wears outfits of objects, such as food or people.

I thus like a mixture of Charlotte's and the young Carrie's styles: classic, elegant outfits and outfits of objects.

 

 I own the food dress. I was so excited to see that Carrie also wore it. I really wish that I could find the rest of the outfits, especially the Topshop Big Wheel Skirt, which has two of my favorites, a Ferris Wheel and a beach.

I think that Miranda is the most entertaining and funniest character on Sex and the City. She is so much fun to watch.

And finally now, I will talk about Samantha. All I have to say about Samantha is that I admire that she is proud of who she is and does not try to be someone else. I particularly like Samantha from The Carrie Diaries.

I love Samantha's tiger top! I hope to buy the top. I love the blue eyes of the tiger.

I wish that they would cast younger versions of Charlotte and Miranda on The Carrie Diaries, especially Charlotte!

I have not read the book, Sex and the City, which the serial is based on. My friend told me that in the book, all four characters represent different aspects of one person. I am also writing such a book where different characters represent facets of one person.

A friend of mine said that Sex and the City is very unrealistic.

Along with the fashion, I appreciate the most the strong friendship between the four girls. They meet regularly to catch up. They are able to stick together in the midst of all their successes and failures in romances. As Mr. Big states, it is the girls that are Carrie's loves of her life.  

I have a clique just like that in Sex and the City called Lipstick Lunch. Just like Sex and the City, we all meet in NYC and catch up on our busy metropolitan lives. I had evaluated that each of the original four girls perfectly parallels a character on Sex and the City.

All in all, I know that if I want watch something fun and engaging, I can turn to Sex and the City. And I hope to become as passionate a writer as Carrie.