Siblings

Every day of my life, I have been very grateful and proud to have an older brother and be a sister. I think that the sibling dimension is very special and irreplaceable. My older brother, who is just one year older than me, has always been my favorite person in the world and my biggest hero and role model and was my first playmate and best friend. So I dedicate this blog to Madhav Sukumaran.

The relationship between an older brother and younger sister is my favorite relationship, other than that between multiple births. People have written that the relationship between older brother and younger sister is the most loving, which I like. I do think that the relationship between older brother and sister is sometimes overidealized and looked at through rose-colored glasses by society. Society believes that the older brother is protective of the younger sister (especially against her male suitors) and looks after her and loves and cherishes her. My female friend who has a younger brother said that that is why she always wished she had an older brother. One woman on a forum who was expecting a baby boy after having a girl said that she was disappointed and hated the older sister-younger brother relationship since she has followed the belief of society that the boy should be older to protect the sister. I particularly love and romanticize the expectation of the older brother to be protective against guys that chase his younger sister. However, I found that in reality, it is quite different from the romanticized societal perspective.
I have observed among family members and friends that the older sister and younger brother often have a better relationship than the older brother and younger sister. That is because the female has the nature to nurture and looks after her younger brother while a male often is naughty and teases and bullies his younger sister. It is interesting because I had thought of this nurturing nature of the girl on my own, and my father also told me that the female of living species has a motherly quality in the context of discussing siblings. So since the older sister mothers the young brother while the older brother tends to tease the younger sister, the older sister and younger brother can click better and be better friends. The younger brother can also be protective of the older sister, though not overprotective.
When we were toddlers, my brother and I were the best of friends. As we grew older as kids, my brother tended to tease me, which I did not like, but we were still very close, and I thought we were exceptionally close as brother and sister. As teenagers, I lived in my brother's shadow as "Madhav's sister" as my brother always watched out for me helped me out in school socially and academically. As we became adults, however, it started to change. My brother wanted me to be perfect, and I always felt that he was finding fault with me and trying to control my life. He has definitely been protective of me against guys and has felt awkward hearing my love stories. I, on the other hand, would fawn over him and show him overflowing affection, which he, as a guy, shied away from. As I have matured, I have learned how to have a better relationship with him. I have learned to tell him less about my life, such as my love interests and mistakes, so that he cannot judge me or feel awkward. I have learned not to shower him with affection. And as a result, he has started to treat me better and show me more love. As I was having a discussion with my father today about siblings, he told me that always the older brother wants the younger sister to be perfect and tends to be domineering. So I guess that our relationship does not stand out that way.
I will now write about examples that I have experienced and seen among my friends and family. My friend who told me that she always wanted an older brother actually has a wonderful, friendly relationship with her younger brother, which may be better than mine with my brother. Her younger brother really cares for her. She hangs out with her younger brother as friends, something that I wish I could do more of with my brother. I have also analyzed a lot about the sibling relationship from one family of four brothers and four sisters who are in the particular order: girl, girl, boy, boy, girl, boy, boy girl. The 2nd boy was extremely close to his brother and often ganged up with him against the younger girl that was next in line. That 3rd girl was very close and friendly with her younger brother more than with her older brothers. The 2nd boy was very close with his older sister, the 2nd girl. Both of them loved to read and study. The 2nd girl also was like a friend to him and teased him. The 2nd girl loved the 1st boy, her younger brother the most. As they grew older, the four sisters became very close and like a unit separate from the boys in their own way.
When siblings are the same gender, they often can click as friends in a way that siblings of different genders cannot. It is hard for people of different genders to tell each other everything or enjoy the same activities. It is quite common for siblings of the same gender to hang out. 
I will now write about examples from fiction. I particularly like the Santos family, a boy and four girls, from All My Children. They are in the following order: Maria, Julia, Mateo, Anita, and Rosa.

Mateo seems to be the closest and most friends with his older sister closest to him in age, Julia. He talks about how when they were young, Julia was obsessed with Cinderella and always play-acted Cinderella with him, making him play all the male parts from Prince Charming to the dog! Mateo can confide most in Julia and ask her for advice. I liked both Mateo and Anita a lot and loved the older brother-younger sister relationship so I wanted them to be close. Indeed, when Anita is on the run from their father's strict rule, Mateo welcomes her to stay with him even though his girlfriend has just moved in. It is so sweet the way that Mateo hugs Anita, relieved after she shows up at his door. I love how Anita says, "I love you!" and how when Anita says that Mateo needs to think about himself, Mateo says that that is what he is doing, that he would be worried sick if she was out on the run in an unknown place, but at peace if she is staying with him. And it is so sweet how he says that his sisters will always be a part of him and that he feels the need to protect them. I love how he appreciates that Anita is so full of life and headstrong and has to save his father from killing her spirit. Here are the clips:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbenkO-UKig
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2eU64iQT7w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Iq5rqD3D08
Then later Mateo still watches out for Anita and where she will end up staying when she insists on not cramming up his space with his girlfriend. I like how he distinguishes being protective over being overprotective:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqkpuG7eHd4
Mateo is so sweet, the way that he always tries to save Anita from the chains of their overbearing father.
Mateo also is very protective of his youngest sister, Rosa in her teenage years. He does not like her to be revealing while dressed or run around with players. I also love Mateo's relationship with Rosa whom I love.
In the Santos family, I also see that sisters can share an exclusive type of closeness separate from their brother. The four females often hang out together without Mateo. Anita also talks about how Maria, Julia, and she used to have bonding sessions when they were younger.
I love Tom and Maggie's relationship in The Mill on the Floss.

Tom and Maggie's relationship is a lot like mine with my brother. Tom and Maggie are very close and friends. Maggie worships her big brother, and Tom chastises Maggie a lot. In the end, they are "not by death divided."
I will now discuss personality traits of siblings. The only child has grown up alone and has often been pampered with all the attention. Thus, the only child syndrome involves the subconsciousness that the world revolves around you and independence. The oldest child often takes charge and the lead. Thus, the oldest child syndrome includes domination, leadership, and maturity. The younger child has often been indulged and looks up to the  older sibling. So the younger child can be a bit selfish, yet accommodating and rarely domineering. I am still trying to figure out more traits of the younger child and the middle child. Wikipedia states that the younger child is often the charmer and entertainer. I am trying to see if that is true. Someone else told me that among two sisters, the younger sister is often more social, sociable, and sophisticated, having learned from her older sister. I know that I very much have the younger child syndrome in terms of having a bit of selfishness and not being domineering. I am very happy that I was never an only child.
I would like to explore the topic of siblings in depth as a future project. My ingenious friend, Leslie had a unique, complex dance theatre piece all on siblings in the show, Snow Globe.
I will end by wrapping up my thoughts and preferences on siblings. I have always romanticized that siblings have a very loving relationship where they tell each other that they love each other, hug and kiss each other, and confide in each other about everything and affectionately tease each other. I love being in an older brother-younger sister relationship. I have often wished to also have a younger sister to dress up and take care of. However, I am glad that I got my first choice of a brother. I have also always wanted to be a part of a multiple birth. Hence, I will be writing about multiple births in a later blog. I have always wished I could live in a madhouse full of multiple siblings. I think that one can learn a lot and develop as a person through having a sibling or multiple.

Recap...and Mathematics

In the train to NYC this afternoon, I had a very enriching conversation with this very intellectual statistician with a doctorate in statistics. I will detail this conversation in this blog, The statistician was enlightening me on mathematics, one of his fields of expertise that I am most interested in. The left side of my brain is all about mathematics and logic (which can also be classified as a branch of mathematics).
In school, English and mathematics were always my two favorite and best subjects. In middle and high school, it became English, mathematics, and Spanish. The highest level of mathematics that I have studied was Advanced Placement Calculus BC in high school. In college, I did not take any courses in calculus since my ego prevented me from repeating calculus, which many had to in college. Now I wish that I had studied till the highest level of calculus. I still hope to study the highest level of calculus and mathematics someday in my free time.
Michael, my train acquaintance, told me that there is all kinds of calculus. I had known before about Calculus III: Multivariable Calculus and Calculus IV: Differential Calculus. Michael told me that there is also, for example, Vector Calculus. He told me that for the master's degree in Mathematics, the fields are divided into Advanced Analysis (aka Calculus), Linear Algebra, and Topology. He said that in the PhD, students go into one of those three fields in depth.

 

I would love to learn Vector Calculus someday, along with Multivariable Calculus, Differential Calculus, and all the other forms of calculus. When I have free time, now that I am free of my ego, I am going to start from scratch in calculus and work upwards to the highest level of calculus. Michael recommended a book on advanced mathematics by Rubin. Now all I need to do is dig up some college calculus textbooks and start from scratch.

 

 

 

 

 

I love learning about all different subjects and majors, even if I do not major in them. Mathematics is on the list of the majors that I would have taken on if I did not take up English Literature and Theatre. I learned that people either major in pure or applied mathematics. I think that I am all for pure mathematics since I am not about practicality and more of a purist. I mentioned to Michael that I am interested in learning about mathematics applied to liberal arts, rather than science. Michael said that the liberal arts applicants usually study and apply logic and sometimes other mathematics and become lawyers. He recommended law school for someone of my background.
I also really love the topic of logic. I took logic in college to fulfill the math requirement. The logic course actually ended up being tougher than I thought it would be. I hope to one day study the relations between logic, philosophy, and mathematics.

I also discussed my career goals. My dream is to get a career in academia to make use of my doctorate in English Literature. However, it is very competitive. So if that does not work out, I hope to get a career in book publishing or copywriting. I would like to engage in copywriting for business, fashion, or pharmacy. I am working on building a portfolio right now. As you can see, I really like writing a lot! Everyone says that there is a lot of scope for an English major.

Stream-of-Consciousness

This will just be a blog entry that reflects on my thoughts and activities over the course of the past few days.
I had been looking at this Smitten Sketching dress from Modcloth, which my friend sent me the link to:

I love that this dress is so romantic! The ModCloth website advertises that this dress is meant to "show the world that you're in love with love. So I think that I, who am so much in love with love, is made to wear this dress to represent that passion. I plan to wear this dress when I am deep into a relationship and on a date since I always like to double my clothes and activity (particularly for photography purposes). I love that the dress says, "Hello, Beautiful" and "Kiss me." I love the beautiful black-haired lady that is paired with the black-haired guy. The heart-shaped cut in the back completes the romance of the dress! I definitely want to buy this dress when I have the money! However, letting go of my current unhealthy shopaholic impulse to buy the dress also made me feel better. I do know that this dress is on my list for the future! After all, I need a dress that showcases the romantic dimension of my persona.
I love print clothing that tells a story! That is why I love the brand, Storybook Knits! My platonic guy friend told me that the brand name. Storybook Knits sounds like it was designed just for me! I have one Storybook Knits sweater.
Reading "Kiss me" on the Smitten Sketching dress reminded me of the song, "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer. I saw the official video for the first time and was very surprised to find that clips of She's All That, which features the song is in it.

I loved Freddie Prinze, Jr. in the movie! He was my high school dreamboat--caring, sweet, romantic overachiever!
Well, I see that I have implemented a stream-of-consciousness in this blog entry. There is something else that I wanted to mention. Today I wore one of my cupcake dresses for the first time and took a picture with an Easter cupcake from Natale's. I had to include this in this entry since I love cupcakes!

Schoolgirl Innocence

I have come to realize that a girl that has never had a boyfriend has a schoolgirl innocence. I will provide a lengthy definition of this term, which I hope to have coined, in this blog entry.
I would like to start off by stating that I still have the schoolgirl innocence, even at this age, since I have never been in a relationship in my life. So that is why I decided to dedicate a blog entry to this topic.

Schoolgirl innocence involves approaching the world with the wide-eyed curiosity of a child. A girl is often idealistic and thinks about love and relationships through a romantic, idealistic, point of view, perceiving it like a fairy tale. The girl often is prone to blushing and gushing. She thinks of love and marriage as a "happily ever after." She usually wishes to remain a virgin until marriage although she may find that once she has a relationship, it is not practical. One of my relatives has told me a lot about what she and her friends visualized as schoolgirls in conservative India. One concrete example is that when you have a zit in the middle of the bridge of your nose, you will be in love.

I will also define the schoolgirl crush. A schoolgirl crush is when you have a crush on a boy and build him up to an ideal in your head. You blush at the thought and mention of him. You may write poetry about your love.
A romantic relationship really grows you up. You learn the difference between real and fairy tale love. You learn to compromise and be independent. I have found that constant fighting  and tears are common experiences among couples. In the soap opera, One Life to Live, Marcie said that before she fell in love, she thought of love as swooning, but that it was really about having a best friend that you wait for to tell everything. Someone told me that a virgin is noticeably different from a woman that has had sex as sex is a big change in one's life, that I am still noticeably innocent. Another person told me that a certain maturity comes about you after having sex. When I was in high school, my closest friend, like me, did not date, We then had very similar ideals about life and about love. She, like me, was prone to blushing and giggling and idealizing love and marriage. However, in college, she started to have serious relationships while I remained cut off from the dating zone. Now she is completely different than in high school. I do not know exactly what her experiences with love are, but she is no longer innocent and idealistic and more practical and condones pre-marital sex, unlike before. In college, the best friend that I made had already been in several serious long-term relationships and so did not have that schoolgirl innocence when I met her. I had another close friend in college that like me, did not date. So she and I had very similar personalities and really clicked. However, I found that after college when she started dating, she changed a lot and was no longer wide-eyed and quite independent. At this age, I am the only person that I know that is left with this schoolgirl innocence, being unique in never having a relationship. I have, however, tried to learn from what I have observed from other people's experiences.

Romance

I once took a quiz on Facebook, "Which personality trait stands out most in you?" and predicted a result before I received it: romance! Exactly in that word form! I have always been a true romantic at heart...

Most girls go through a phase where they hate boys in elementary school. If I remember clearly, I may have gone through that phase, but for a very short time. I remember liking boys (platonically) and wishing I could be friends with them when most girls hated them. I remember when I was just five years old asking my Mom whether I could marry my friend's brother. I remember one strong crush in elementary school on this other guy. That was the first time that I felt the gushy feeling and butterflies in my stomach. I always secretly loved the jump rope game, "Down in the valley where the green grass grows" and hoping that the girls would say the name of the boy I liked for the person that kissed me on the cheek in the song! I was so disappointed the one time that I played that game with the girls during recess, and the bell rang right before the girls could choose a name of a boy for me!

I loved games of imagining love like that. I went to boarding school, a very romantic idea in itself, in India in eighth grade with the hopes of finding an Indian boyfriend--a hope that was far from being fulfilled to put it very lightly! There was this game that us boarding schoolgirls played, which started during one secret midnight party where we matched boyfriends for each other and from then onwards teased each other about them! It was very interesting since it showed how different girls in India at that age were from girls in America. I went from one world in seventh grade of kids going out for a day and making out to conservative schoolgirls shy at the prospect of love, but dreaming it up and toying with it! I never told anyone this, but I loved the game that we played of matching with boys & teasing each other! At the beginning, people told me that I was so lucky that I was not getting teased, but I felt so unlucky! Then when I finally got teased, I showed that I was mad on the outside while blushing and being thrilled on the inside!

The same went when I came back to school in America when I surprisingly got teased about being matched with a guy in my class whom I had never before thought of in that way. I showed on the outside anger, but just loved that game of an imaginary prospect on the inside! I would be thrilled whenever anyone teased me about him. It was surprising to me that this teasing would happen in America where people did not have to make up and imagine and could just implement romance in action.
Now I will write about the loves of my life. When I say love, I do not mean it literally, but guys whom I have had deep infatuations for. My first love was a guy that I hated at first. He was the Prince Charming of our class whom all the girls pined for. I, on the other hand, was at the other end of the popularity spectrum. This aforementioned guy made fun of me all the time. However, at the end of the year, he asked me to be his friend, which I unofficially accepted. He kept flirting with me after that, and he was so charming that I fell for him. Far from being in a relationship with him, I never told him how I felt. But he did tell me, "I love you." It so happened that I left school after that, before anything could happen between us officially. It just made me feel so wonderful that he felt the same way about me that I felt for him, what I thought was a rarity at that time. My second love was a guy that I met much later in life. He was everything that I dreamed of in every way imaginable. I had a typical schoolgirl crush on him and built him up as the perfect guy in my head. However, he did not wish to be more than friends with me. I never told him how I felt about him, but I was heartbroken when I found out through actions that he did not feel the way about me that I felt about him. I remember that the first thing that made me feel better was going to Barnes & Noble reading Sideways Stories from Wayside School. My heart paradoxically simultaneously melted and chilled when I read the chapter on Alison (one girl and name that I love; the girl in the class that I am most like). I remember it said something like, "She was very pretty so a lot of boys teased her, especially Jason." I especially loved it since one of my first innocent kid crushes was on a boy named Jason! And it also reflected back on how my first love teased me because he liked me. I wished that I could go back to elementary school when everything was all fun & games, and you could have innocent, gushy feelings of butterflies without expectations of anything more! I wished then that I could go back to being a child and never having experienced serious romantic feelings. The only thing that made me feel better after my heartbreak after that was reading kid's books and wishing I was a kid again, before my heartbreak.
I believe that I am one person that is born and made for love. That might sound paradoxical since at this older age, I have never been in a romantic relationship. However, ironically, it is this romantic nature that has led me to this condition. I have always only wanted to ever be in a relationship with one person my whole life and marry him. So I am comfortable with never having been in a relationship. I would like to marry a person that is everything that I have dreamed of; a person that makes my heart flutter and dance whenever he walks into the room!
I know that I have a theoretical, bookish, schoolgirl approach to love, rather than a practical, experienced approach. That is because I still have the schoolgirl innocence of never having had a boyfriend, something which I will detail in a later blog entry!
I will now skirt the issue of romance and sex, love and lust. I love how the Wikipedia entry on Romance (love) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romance_(love)) renders romantic feelings distinct from sexual feelings, demarcating the difference between love and lust. I, myself, had thought before that romantic feelings could be distinguished from sexual feelings. One can feel butterflies in the stomach without being sexually turned on. Romance by itself is cleaner than sexual feelings. I have felt romantic feelings for a guy without feeling sexual towards him. That is not to say that I am immune to sexual feeling or against it. I think that a marriage needs to have a good combination of romance and sexual attraction.
I think that procreation is beautiful since it symbolizes that living beings are maintained through love. It is sweet that babies are created through love. I used to want to try IVF when I am married out of fascination for multiple births, but now I think that babies should only be created through love.
I also would like to raise the topic of blushing, which I find so fascinating. In Keats and Embarrassment, Christopher Ricks theorizes that blushing is the paradox of having sexual feeling within and the need to preserve chastity. I think that a blushing, shy schoolgirl or blushing bride is very romantic and endearing! Blushing is what makes love so exciting!
I also want to state that gushing is another part of what makes love thrilling! I remember that in Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger, one of the boys brings in this love letter.Louis Sachar writes that the letter is sticky with some substance, but the content of the letter is what makes it the stickiest! You can tell I learned all about love from the Wayside School books..
That brings me to my next topic, fiction on love. As most of you know, Romeo and Juliet is the signature love story. It is in theatrical form. That is a part of the reason why the romantic Juliet is my favorite heroine. "Romeo" is synonymous with lover. Casablanca is the trademark cinematic love story. I have come to notice now that in both these fictional love stories, marriage is not the end. That makes me very curious. Any thoughts on how this might be?

I would also like to specify that although I am crazy about romance, I am not boy-crazy. As I have written, I have just liked two guys in my life. I put my energies into other activities than chasing guys and dating. As a romantic, I believe in destiny, that the right person will come to you. So I have not been dating in the past since I did not want to go out of my way to get a guy. I also am a virgin from every form of sex. I believe in sexual abstinence until marriage.
Whoa, I have infinite thoughts on romance. I know that I am not even close to being done. I will be writing more entries on romance in the near future.
To Be Continued...

Friendship

I believe that friendship is an indispensable part of life. Throughout school, I was painfully shy and had a very hard time making friends. Although I had a few friends throughout school, it was in college that I developed the friend dimension in myself, learning what being friends was all about.

I believe that friendship is about sharing your shortcomings as well as your strengths. I like when friends open up about mistakes that they have made since no one is perfect. I hate when friends try to act like they are perfect. I had one friend that always boasted that everyone thought she was perfect and never shared any real shortcomings with me. So I was never very close to her.
Throughout my childhood, my best friends were these twins. We came from very similar backgrounds and have known each other since we were five. However, I was very different from the two of them. Although we got along, I never opened up completely to them, and I do not believe that they did to me, either. They did not understand many of the problems that they had since they never had similar feelings. Even when we were children, we had different tastes. I always loved to play dolls and house, which they never were fond of. Despite our differences, I still thought of them as my best friends. I still know them today, but do not keep much in touch with them.
In eighth grade, I went to boarding school, and my friend was this girl whom I was with 24/7. We had a lot in common, such as being animal lovers, bookworms, and introverts. I have fought with her more than I have fought with anyone else, combined, but I was still extremely close to her.
Later in my life, I finally had a very close friend. She and I had similar beliefs and dreams. However, I was lacking in maturity and street-smartness while she was exceptionally mature beyond her years and knew how to live on her own. I considered her my best friend. She, however, did not believe in best friends and considered her boyfriend her best friend. During the years that I knew her, she was mostly into her relationship with her boyfriend and not much into friendships. However, I learned a lot from her about life. I do not think that she valued me as much as I valued her, however. I would also like to now comment on the idea that your significant other is your best friend. I really do not believe that your significant other should be the one to be your best friend because first and foremost, your relationship with that other is of a romantic partner, not a friend, although the significant other can and should also be a friend to you. It is like saying that your mother or sister is your best friend. By saying that your significant other is a best friend is placing him/her in comparison with your other friends, which is like comparing apples to oranges. I believe that you should have a platonic best friend whom you consider your best friend when you have a significant other, even if you are closer to your significant other. Platonic friendship is irreplaceable and indispensable. Maybe when you get married, it will end up that your best friend is your spouse since you share all of your life's tasks, journeys, and lessons with the spouse, much like you did with your platonic best friend. However, when you are unmarried, you should keep a platonic best friend. If I was in an unmarried romantic relationship, I would consider my closest platonic friend my best friend, rather than my boyfriend. It is only when I enter marriage and take an oath to always be there for the other,that I should consider my husband my best friend. Also, after marriage, one does not have as much time for friends as before, as friendships might end up not being as much a priority. However, when I marry, I hope to still stay strong friends with all my friends even if I have different priorities.

I found another close friend in Carly whom I acted in Night School with. I was very impressed with her from the moment that I saw her and wanted to be friends with her. She really came across as very intellectual and talented and had many similar interests to me. I became friends with her after we performed Night School when she founded the Lipstick Lunch gathering where we wear lipstick and catch up on our busy metropolitan lives. I think of the Lipstick Lunch girls as my clique of friends, my best friends right now. Carly and I have gotten very close since starting the Lipstick Lunch. We come from different backgrounds, but have a lot of the same thoughts and beliefs. We both love literature, writing, and acting. Even though we come from different backgrounds, we still appreciate and respect each other's backgrounds. I loved visiting her family home. Carly told me that she wants to visit India one day.

I have also gotten very close to Kerry from Lipstick Lunch. She is so attractive in her sunny, bubbly, chirpy, and happy personality! I knew from the first Lipstick Lunch that I met her that we would make great friends. She and I both love reading and creative writing and are romantics at heart. We went to the Mermaid Parade together. Carly, Kerry, and I hang out as three many times, and it has been a lot of fun.

I like everyone in Lipstick Lunch for their different personalities. The other two original Lipstick Lunch girls, other than Carly and me, are Cynthia and Mireille. I love how Cynthia is so rational and calm, the voice of reason just as Miranda is for Carrie in Sex and the City. Carly is like Carrie in her confidence, bubbly personality, and love for journalistic writing. Carly, like Carrie, is also the leader of the group, the one that runs Lipstick Lunch. I am like Charlotte (as I mentioned before) in being romantic and believing in fairy tales.
I admire Mireille for being confident, intellectual, and proud of who she is. I love that she reads classics all the time. Just like me, she likes writing and acting. I admire Kait for being so intellectual, literary, and sophisticated. I would like to know Kait better as she comes to more Lipstick Lunches and get closer to her. Elena is one girl that I brought into Lipstick Lunch. Carly said that she added dynamic to the group and that she is a perfect balance of the left and right brains. Elena is so sweet and easy to get along with. I also really love the charming, charismatic Lada for being so cool, relaxed, and yet smart. I have gotten along very well with Alex whom I feel is a kindred spirit. She and I both enjoy fantasy, magic,  literature, and Spanish. I also really love Cindy who is so warm, friendly, bubbly, knowledgeable, and intelligent. Adrienne is a new girl from a Pop Culture Conference that I brought into Lipstick Lunch whom everyone loved. She is so friendly and easy-going and intellectual and artistic. I am so glad that she will be coming to future Lipstick Lunches. I will also write about Allison, Kerry's sister who was fortunately able to come to Lipstick Lunch when she was in NYC. I really loved Allison from before I met her. First of all, I love the name, Allison! Second of all, Carly & Kerry said very charming things about her. When I met Allison, she was so charismatic, bubbly, friendly, and easy to click with! She fit in right well with the Lipstick Lunch clique. I hope I get to see her again.
Whenever I am Lipstick Lunch, I am happy and can be myself and sincere and can attract people to me as a friend. I remember when I was talking about the Mermaid Parade, I told this new girl that she should come and that I would love to have her there! And I felt so happy and sincere saying that.
Writing about Lipstick Lunch has made me so happy, loosened me up, and write from the heart! I am so glad to finally have a group of friends and hope that we can be friends forever!
I would also like to write about another special friend, Leslie. We went to elementary school together and were best friends in first grade. She and I had a lot in common even at that young age. We are both imaginative, creative, and artistic. We both have a delicious outside-the-box imagination. We are both interested in writing and theatre although it would be an understatement to say that she is ahead of me in those fields. Leslie owns a dance theatre company called the Movement Workshop Group, which has produced beautiful, unique, ingenious pieces! Her pieces were the inspiration for a novel that I am working on. Leslie, like me, is like a kaleidoscope, full of different colors and mirrors at once. She even created a dance piece called Snowglobe where she, in one part, represented a snow globe turned upside-down! In my ideal life, I would be best friends with Leslie in elementary school and even beyond. I was thus very complimented when she told another of my friends and also one of her friends that we were best friends in first grade! So I guess that I do have more of my ideal life than I think! I know that Leslie will be a wonderful addition to the Lipstick Lunch where she will fit in well!

I will also write about Melissa, a classmate from my doctoral career. I first met her in a Caribbean Literature class. From there, itself, she showed herself to be unique, creative, and intellectual. Since then, I wanted to be friends with her. Everyone says that she is a lot of fun! We have so far had a few deep-bonding experiences where she shared with me stories about her childhood and the very romantic story of how she met her now fiancé. Just like me, she loves fairy tales! That is something that you do not find in many people. I got to hang out with her again after years a few months ago, between both our very busy schedules. She also would like to join Lipstick Lunch, and I hope that on a day in the near future, the schedules or hers and Lipstick Lunch will click.
A lot of classical writers have written about friendship. I will explore the topic further. My favorite professor from Rutgers, Professor Ronald Levao, held a graduate seminar on Friendship in Shakespeare. I wish that I could have attended it so that I could offer some intellectual perspectives on friendship. You will hear more from me on this topic once I have researched it further.

Left Brain Vs. Right Brain

I have always been intrigued by the matter of the left brain vs. the right brain. Some say that it is just a myth. However, a certified psychologist, herself, told me that it is a proven scientific fact.

I believe that I am a perfect balance of the left-brain and the right-brain. I do not know whether this seriously counts, but I took a quiz, which determined that I was a perfect balance. Someone that was an expert in psychology also told me that I am a perfect balance. I am left-brained in the sense of being logical, analytical (sometimes even overanalyzing), and having an affinity for mathematics. I am right-brained in the sense of being creative, having a larger-than-life imagination, having a deep-rooted passion for the arts, being full of feelings, and daydreaming all the time.



If there is anything that I would be more, it would be right-brained. I am more artistic than scientific. I majored in English Literature and minored in Theatre Arts. There was no question of majoring in a practical or scientific major, which never appealed to me. I love reading, creative writing, music, theatre, and dance. And I am full of feeling from the heart. I am daydreaming all the time; 95% of the time in the real world & 5% of the time in the real world! My dissertation is on fairies and fairy tales. My friend, Carly & I have that in common, being wrapped in a fantasy world. I remember Carly telling a friend of her's that was hanging out with us to join us in having a fantasy world! However, unlike Carly, I think that being in my own world intimates people or draws them away from me.

I would like to implement the accurate side of my brain for the right situations. I am fairly successful in doing so. During sticky emotional situations, I hide my feelings and try to behave logically and do the right thing. There was one time when someone else was getting what I wanted, but I kept my feelings to myself since no wrong was done by him/her and tried to encourage him/her on the outside while cursing him/her on the inside. However, sometimes in acting and singing, it is hard for me to get out of my head since I am so focused on doing a good job. One musical theatre teacher gave me the feedback that I come across as very intellectual, but I need to be in touch with my emotions. I was in touch with my emotions, but I was just too concerned with doing a good job. I hope in the future that I can loosen up more and just follow my heart in art.

I had written in another blog about how in this blog, I think that I mostly write from the left brain since I do not want to expose my secrets and intimate feelings to the world. It is in my personal diary that I am able to use my right brain. However, I would like to express the right brain in the diary more from now on since it is a critical part of who I am.