*PHILOSOPHY-OF-ROMANCE!*

I have been contemplating and experimenting with my love life in the past two years. All-in-All: I am grateful for my attained experiential wisdom.

A year ago, I met this seeming promising guy, whom I will call, "Mauricio," through Match. After already initiating texting with him, I looked at his profile again to find that he had entered that he does not want children. So I asked him about that detail, and he replied that it so turns out that if he does meet the right woman, he would marry her and then have children if he finds it right. We met in person twice, and texted regularly. I started to grow attached, being that dating was new to me. After two months, during a conversation where my statement came across as too childlike, he told me that I am too childlike and innocent for him, though mature and wise, and that he does not see us in a relationship. He said that my trait of pouting-lips might be cute, but does not appeal to him. 

The end hit me like a storm only because the feeling of heartbreak was rusty to me, not having felt it in ten years. So I took my sweet time to overcome it; a few months. I did realize then that Mauricio and I have diametrically-opposed philosophies to love; so it was all for the best. I am always a True-Romantic at heart: very optimistic and yearning for the happily-ever-after of marriage and children. Mauricio, on the other hand, is really very cynical about love and relationships; due to his family upbringing and own past relationships. While I have a Poetically Magical Philosophy on Love, Mauricio has a scientific approach; as he knew the technical scientific terms for various stages of attraction. 

While dating Mauricio, itself, there existed the red-flag that he believed that every relationship has a beginning, a middle, and an end. As you can imagine, I have always believed in marriage as the endpoint with a romance. 

I finally overcame Mauricio when endeavoring to pursue this guy, whom I used to know, whom I will call, "Jack." I was overjoyed when he told me that Jack especially remembered me since he had wanted to make a move on me back then. I thought it was all going in the right direction. While I am still an inexperienced Virgin, I now would accept a guy, who is rather experienced; which Jack is. In fact, I told Jack that I would even prefer an experienced guy over a less experienced guy since that guy is well-aware of how to love me! Jack told me that, however, an experienced guy would wish for activity that I am not quite so comfortable with. 

Jack also said that since he and I are worlds apart in our experience, those differences would come out on additional levels if we were to commit to a relationship. 

However, I realized ultimately that Jack is at quite the sticky place with a past-love, and so it is best to steer-clear of him. 

My most recent Romantic-Prospect, whom I went on three dates with over the course of a few months, is one whom I will allocate the pseudonym, "Roland." Roland & I are so different in Inner & Outer-Lives: Philosophy, Nature, Romantic & Sexual-Experience, Interests, etc., etc.! I am an Artistic-Soul and work with English Literature & Dramatics. Roland, on-the-other-hand, is an Engineer. While I am the Software in Life, Roland is the Hardware! 

We have thus encountered several ups & downs in our interaction. I epiphanized that: in such a Scenario, we can either (A) set-up our differences for a Complementary-Relationship: *DISCORDIA-CONCORS*: or (B) part ways amicably. 

In-the-Beginning: I did not feel it could work-out, as I felt I could just click with somebody with at least several common-interests. However, Roland theoretically wished for somebody of different interests since he wished for that Complementary-Relationship. 

That is not to say that Roland has at all been more keen than I have been. In fact, at this point, it is the case that I had wished to advance into a Relationship, but Roland thinks that there are too many barriers for us to  proceed. Such as distance, the differences in our relationship-histories, etc. Oh, well. I figure that life will play-out as it is meant-to! 

As I wrote my dissertation on the magic, drama, and meta-art in love and romance, I am certainly one to optimistically believe that: *LOVE IS MAGIC*! Love is really very purifying and allows me to regain my innocence. 

The Phantom of my First-Love remains in my life, much-like Erik, the Phantom, in Phantom of the Opera. In fact, I should write an Opera on my First-Love! 

I philosophize that: Love makes the world go-round! Round-and-round like a horse-on-a-carousel! 

Hence, I love the merry-go-round metaphor! I need to ride the carousel again soon to obtain that original feeling of being spun-around. 

"Loving you is like a fairy-tale!" Oh, but love is always a fairy-tale! 

*Out of my dreams; and into a dream with you!* That is just what I wish of my lover! To share a sleeping-dream with me! On, the psychoanalytics of it! 

Now that I think of it: It is very telling that there is a circus and carousel in "Saga of Jenny" in the Cinematic-version of Lady in the Dark; a lucid-dream-sequence! I would love to research the psychoanalytics of a carousel! The "merry-go-round"! 

I have also come to realize that love can also be a trampoline; if you select to forever be a blind fool in love. 

I, instead, select the magic merry-go-round of LOVE and ROMANCE! The creatures on my merry-go-round are my lovers, my fictional love-interests, Romeo and Juliet, Robin Goodfellow, Titania, the characters in Love's Labour's Lost, the metafictional characters, Alice, the Mad-Hatter, Cinderella, Prince-Charming, Belle, the Beast, etc., etc., etc.! 

Henceforth: I know that: Once I decipher the *MELODY* & *HARMONY* of LOVE; I will attain that Happy-Ending I have always dreamed-of! I could do so by composing a Song on Love! 

In the End: I will always be that School-Girl, who is for gushy *ROMANCE*! And the right Lad for Me will embrace that!