Tribute to My Uncle, Kanamaan

For the past week, I have been coping with my uncle's fate. Kanamaan suffered a stroke on April 19th, was hospitalized in the ICU for several days, and finally passed away on Tuesday, May 2nd at 2:30 Indian Standard Time. I am right now in the emotional grieving stage, but hope to eventually look upon the situation compassionately, logically, and rationally.
When I first heard the news that Kanamaan had a stroke and was in critical condition, I was shocked. Tears would not come out, and my sorrow was bottled up. However, five days ago, tears finally came out, and I spent the day crying. It has been two days since Kanamaan has passed away, and I am still shedding tears, but hopefully will move on eventually. As I am writing this blog entry, tears are flowing out of my eyes.
Kanamaan was my father's younger brother. He was a very tender, loving, and optimistic person. My father was relating stories to me of how he saved Kanamaan's life a few times when he was a small child. My father at times still sees Kanamaan as the small child he started off seeing him as. The first time, Kanamaan fell into the river by my family's house, and my father jumped in and saved him. The second time, a cow was chasing Kanamaan and about to attack him when my father picked him up and took him away.
Kanamaan was very loving towards his family, friends, and associates, and very lovable and popular as well. He was one person that was actually demonstrative and uninhibited in love. I remember spending time with him in 2000 when we went to India for my cousin's wedding. Kanamaan made sure to spend time with me and said, "If no one is there for Pappikutty, I am there" or something along those lines. He always sees me as the baby that he first saw me as. I felt bad that I was never as demonstrative in my love towards him, but hope that he is reading this blog entry now to know how much I love him.
Kanamaan was also very optimistic. At some point in his life, he had to spend his life in Dubai away from his family in India. My mother was remarking to him how sad it was that he could not be in India for another year. However, Kanamaan remarked, "I do not see it that way. It is right now just twelve months since I can go to India and see everyone. In three months, it will be nine months. Then in six months, it will be six months. In another three months, it will be just three months. Then in another three months, I am there!"
Kanamaan was also so very loving that he would not stand any tragedy happening to any other family member. So I would like to comfort myself and others by adopting the belief that since Kanamaan would be completely shattered by another family member's death, God arranged for the order that his death be one of the first in the family. God has faith that his loved ones would have the strength to deal with Kanamaan's passing.
I have come to learn a lot through this past week. As I have been in the world for a number of years, I have had several tragedies and deaths occur. There have been deaths of other people that people would have expected me to care for, but I was not sad by those deaths since I did not on the whole care for those people. However, I have cried over and grieved certain other tragedies and deaths, such as Kanamaan's. I have found that my grievance brings to surface that all in all, I really love and care for those people involved in those tragedies or deaths. So I would really from now onwards, like to let the people that I love know that I love them while I have the opportunity. I have come to realize that despite the differences we may have between each other, I do still love those people from the bottom of the heart. So I would like to let go of my ego and patch up with fall-outs that I have had. Kanamaan may have had differences, as did everyone, but he never held any grudges and always tried to patch up. I have also epiphanized that it is more essential to treat the people well while they are still in your association than grieving them when they have passed. Life is too short to hold onto grudges.
I would like to look on Kanamaan's fate through the lens of the philosophy of the Srimad Bhagavatam. Kanamaan has advanced from a material to a spiritual existence in the universe. Kanamaan was really such a loving and giving individual that he had reached the stage early on where it was time for him to advance to this dimension of existence. Kanamaan may not be physically present in the earth, but he will eternally be spiritually present. He will be an angel watching over his loved ones and protecting them and guiding them to their ideals. The world is not a lesser place, but rather a purified place with Kanamaan's spiritual existence taking over.

Gossip Girl: The Modern Day Fairy Tale!

I became enchanted by Gossip Girl when I first started to watch it last May. I finally finished the series a few days ago. So now I can finally do justice to dedicating a blog entry to this beloved show!

Gossip Girl ended up being very different from what I thought it would be about. I thought that it would be the usual trendy, cool, modern teen show. However, Gossip Girl turned out to be a preppy, old-fashioned, yet modern, complicated fairy tale! I love all of the latter so it goes without saying that I ended up loving Gossip Girl! In addition, Gossip Girl  had another dimension that I embrace within myself: school-girl culture! Gossip Girl is far from being clichéd and contrived. Gossip Girl is a masterpiece of the screen!

I will first discuss the characters and then proceed to the multi-dimensional themes:
Blair Waldorf:

Blair is a very complicated character that cannot be described in one word. My friend told me that she is the ingénue. However, I really do not think that her character fits that description. Blair is good at roleplaying the ingénue as an outer façade to hide her true manipulative, calculating nature. She credited herself as originating the doe-eyed look to hide the true cunningness within. That is why the Wikipedia article on Blair Waldorf compares her to characters like Becky Sharp from Vanity Fair. William Makepeace Thackeray related that Becky Sharp has been considered to play the ingénue for school plays, although he portrayed her as conniving and cutthroat. Blair is much like that. She is quite self-serving, selfish, and spoiled and really makes her enemies suffer.

I am torn between liking and disliking Blair's character. I admire that she has high standards and strives for nothing short of the best. Sometimes I admire the way that she really puts her enemies in their place! However, I really hated her when she victimized her pure English teacher, Rachael Carr, when she did not get her way with her. Blair really showed herself to be arrogant and spoiled there. Some say that Blair would do anything for her friends. However, I do not see it that way. I think that she is nice to her friends, as long as it does not interfere with what she wants, and she tends to forgo friendship for her selfish needs and use friends at times. One thing is for sure, though! I love Blair's fashion sense! I am all for preppy, girly, and schoolgirl! I have emulated Blair's style.

Chuck Bass:

Chuck is another such complicated character. He would fit into the dark hero category, the homme fatale, of the romance.

It is interesting to note that in the beginning, Chuck is shown as a forceful attempted date rapist. I was shocked that such a character would turn into the hero of the show, when rape is condemned the most out of all crimes in society. However, he grows into a kind, decent human being as the show progresses. I forgive him for that lapse at the beginning of the series. :)

Dan Humphrey:

I think that Dan is the protagonist of the series, the outsider from Brooklyn looking inside the elite Upper East Side life. Dan has the typical writerly nature: lonesome, romantic, etc. It is revealed in the end that Dan Humphrey is the anonymous Gossip Girl! That says a lot about his character--that he is a writer whose writing the show revolves around and that he is very much in touch with his feminine side. Dan is just the kind of guy that I am looking for--a feminine, artsy guy. I love that he has a Cabbage Patch doll named Cedric! It would be my wildest dream to be romantically involved with a guy that liked to play with dolls. ;) Dan's kindness makes him appear attractive and good-looking. Dan is rightly called, "Lonely Boy from Brooklyn."

Serena Van Der Woodsen:

Serena has been textualized by Dan as the princess that is beautiful and unattainable. That would make her fall into the princesse lointaine category! It is true that Serena is perceived that way by Dan since she is his lifelong crush that he puts on a pedestal, as she herself notes. However, I do not think that she is really that unattainable since she has dated so many guys in the show. On the other hand, even though she is shown as a party girl out of control, she appears so serene (like her name) and at ease. I like kindness most out of all Serena's qualities.

Nate Archibald:

Nate is termed, the "Golden Boy of the Upper East Side." The name speaks for itself. Therefore, in some ways, Nate is also the type of pretty, preppy boy that is perfect for me on paper. It is interesting to note that although Nate is portrayed as the gentleman, he has engaged in a lot of reckless behavior. For example, he cheated on his virgin girlfriend by sleeping with her best friend. In addition, he had a monetary affair with a grown-up married noble heiress when he was in high school. Dan and Vanessa were shocked at the way that "Nate Archibald is a gigolo." In spite of all his flaws, however, I love Nate! I have a weak spot for preppy guys and pretty boys! ;)
Vanessa Abrams:

Vanessa is portrayed as the artsy girl of the show. I really liked how Vanessa was genuine and honest in the beginning. I felt sad when the writers turned her character into deceitful, scheming, and manipulative. I never felt any deep feelings for her, however.

Jenny Humphrey:

Jenny is, by far, my least favorite character. She is a bad imitation Blair Waldorf. I hate all of the sins she engages in, lying, stealing, dealing drugs, betraying, etc., etc. I was so happy when her annoying character was written out of the show! She really did nothing for the show except be annoying. She does not deserve the sweet Dan as her brother.
Now I will discuss the fairy tale element of the show:

Throughout the show, there are allusions to the fairy tales that the characters are living--particularly Blair. Blair comments often on the complication of the fairy tale. If we were to classify the characters, Blair would be the princess, Chuck would be the villain turned hero, Jenny would be the villain, and Dan would be the writer of the fairy tale! I think that Blair learns that she is living a fairy tale that is three-dimensional, rather than clichéd. It is interesting to note that she thinks that she finally has the fairy tale that she has dreamed of when she marries Prince Louis. However, I think that the writers are trying to portray that characters cannot be externally classified in a real life fairy tale. Chuck who appears as the villain at some points, such as his attempted date rape of Jenny and his violent attack of Blair when she is engaged to Prince Louis, turns out to be the romantic hero of the fairy tale (the metaphoric prince) when he is revealed throughout the show as Blair's true love and his dark nature evolves into maturity and purity. Prince Louis, on the other hand, turns out to be the foil that is the prince on the outside, but dark and false on the inside. The true nature of Louis's character and Louis and Blair's marriage is revealed at their wedding when Louis discreetly tells Blair that their marriage is for show. This scene signifies that Blair's perspective of a fairy tale marriage that she has dreamed of is not real, but rather just a vision, as she cannot have the "happily ever after" that she has dreamed of in a loveless marriage. An intriguing part of the show is when Dan and Blair discuss how both their fairy tales are separate, rather than one and the same. The screen focuses on Serena when Blair mentions Dan's true princess, and the screen focuses on Prince Louis as Blair's prince. Serena does end up being Dan's one and only princess. However, Louis does not end up being Blair's "prince" in actuality.

I will now discuss the schoolgirl dimension of the show:

I love how the characters go to a prep school with school uniforms! I really love wearing school uniforms. I think that the image of Blair in her Constance Billiard school uniform represents that she is an intellectual, schoolgirl at heart! It is quite fascinating that Blair suggests that her mother's fashion line emulate from the school uniform. I really love that!
I will discuss the FASHION of the show:
I LOVE LOVE LOVE BLAIR'S FASHION SENSE!!! I love bows, frills, ruffles, etc. After watching the show, I started buying a lot of headbands to emulate Blair's headband trademark. I love that Blair wears headbands in the beginning, abandons them for an extended period of time, then wears them again by the end of the show. I think that shows that the headband is an indispensable part of Blair's persona! Blair wears the headband as a tiara--to represent her wish to be a princess.

Here are some of my favorites of Blair's outfits:

I actually have a version of the above style! I love Blair's elegant, model pose.

I am so excited to be discussing the romance element of the show:
Dan and Serena: In my opinion, the show revolves around the Dan and Serena relationship. It is quite literary and metafictional. The whole show is founded upon Dan's attempt to win Serena's heart by literalizing her life as the anonymous Gossip Girl! Dan writes a story in which he is the hero to win the hand of the princesse-lointaine, Serena, after many trials and tribulations. Dan often puts his romance for Serena into his fiction writing, such as in the first story that Vanessa publishes of his; the one on his first encounter and later love with Serena. There is also his book with the character, Sabrina. I think that Dan and Serena's romance matures and blossoms as he learns to know and accept Serena for who she is--the good and the bad--rather than just placing her on a pedestal as a flawless princess. He could not have done that without his writing, however. I love how Serena is portrayed as Dan's princess in the above mentioned scene with Blair! Dan and Serena's romance is my favorite in the show! I love how the show ends with Dan and Serena's wedding. I think that proves that the show is not complete without the culmination of Dan and Serena's romance!

Chuck and Blair: Chuck and Blair's romance is described by Wikipedia as "the heart of the show." I am really glad that Chuck and Blair end up with one another as they are perfect for each other! Both are dark, scheming, manipulative, selfish, and spoiled, yet confident and strong. I also love the beginning of their romance. It is quite appropriate that their chemistry starts when Blair copulates with Chuck when she is afraid that Nate no longer loves her. Their affair brings out Blair's sexuality--an important element of the show--Blair and Chuck's duplicitous natures, and Chuck's hypersexual, seductive nature. Blair answers Muffy later that her first time was with someone she loved. I also like how Chuck, for the first time, develops butterflies in his stomach after sleeping with Blair to which Blair replies, "You know I love all God's creatures and the metaphors they inspire." Isn't that just so cute? You can read my above thoughts on the fairy tale of their affair. I think that it is really sweet that it is revealed that Chuck is the one that pays Blair's dowry to free her from the bounds of her marriage to Louis. I really love that Chuck and Blair end up marrying--in such an unconventional fashion--and raising a sweet son!

Nate and Vanessa: I really wish that Nate and Vanessa ended up together. They were sweet and brought out the best in each other. It is cute the way that Nate gets jealous when he thinks that Vanessa is flirting with the director of the Age of Innocence production.
I will now discuss the metafiction of the show:

Here is an article on the metafiction of the show: http://www.kylegarret.com/2013/01/the-metafictional-genius-of-gossip-girl.html
There are countless metafictional episodes of the show. There is the episode where Dan's story on his love for Serena is published: Season 1, Episode 11: Roman Holiday.
I like Season 2, Episode 18: Age of Dissonance. In that episode, Constance Billiard and St. Jude's put on a theatrical production of Age of Innocence, which ends up being a deconstruction of the literary work based on their real emotions!

I also like Season 5, Episode 11: The Big Sleep No More, which features Punchdrunk's performance of Big Sleep No More--evoking real life subconscious romantic and intimate feelings. 

I think that the moral of metafictional portrayal in the show is that fiction and reality depend on one other to grow and develop--that without one, you cannot have the other.