Siblings

Every day of my life, I have been very grateful and proud to have an older brother and be a sister. I think that the sibling dimension is very special and irreplaceable. My older brother, who is just one year older than me, has always been my favorite person in the world and my biggest hero and role model and was my first playmate and best friend. So I dedicate this blog to Madhav Sukumaran.

The relationship between an older brother and younger sister is my favorite relationship, other than that between multiple births. People have written that the relationship between older brother and younger sister is the most loving, which I like. I do think that the relationship between older brother and sister is sometimes overidealized and looked at through rose-colored glasses by society. Society believes that the older brother is protective of the younger sister (especially against her male suitors) and looks after her and loves and cherishes her. My female friend who has a younger brother said that that is why she always wished she had an older brother. One woman on a forum who was expecting a baby boy after having a girl said that she was disappointed and hated the older sister-younger brother relationship since she has followed the belief of society that the boy should be older to protect the sister. I particularly love and romanticize the expectation of the older brother to be protective against guys that chase his younger sister. However, I found that in reality, it is quite different from the romanticized societal perspective.
I have observed among family members and friends that the older sister and younger brother often have a better relationship than the older brother and younger sister. That is because the female has the nature to nurture and looks after her younger brother while a male often is naughty and teases and bullies his younger sister. It is interesting because I had thought of this nurturing nature of the girl on my own, and my father also told me that the female of living species has a motherly quality in the context of discussing siblings. So since the older sister mothers the young brother while the older brother tends to tease the younger sister, the older sister and younger brother can click better and be better friends. The younger brother can also be protective of the older sister, though not overprotective.
When we were toddlers, my brother and I were the best of friends. As we grew older as kids, my brother tended to tease me, which I did not like, but we were still very close, and I thought we were exceptionally close as brother and sister. As teenagers, I lived in my brother's shadow as "Madhav's sister" as my brother always watched out for me helped me out in school socially and academically. As we became adults, however, it started to change. My brother wanted me to be perfect, and I always felt that he was finding fault with me and trying to control my life. He has definitely been protective of me against guys and has felt awkward hearing my love stories. I, on the other hand, would fawn over him and show him overflowing affection, which he, as a guy, shied away from. As I have matured, I have learned how to have a better relationship with him. I have learned to tell him less about my life, such as my love interests and mistakes, so that he cannot judge me or feel awkward. I have learned not to shower him with affection. And as a result, he has started to treat me better and show me more love. As I was having a discussion with my father today about siblings, he told me that always the older brother wants the younger sister to be perfect and tends to be domineering. So I guess that our relationship does not stand out that way.
I will now write about examples that I have experienced and seen among my friends and family. My friend who told me that she always wanted an older brother actually has a wonderful, friendly relationship with her younger brother, which may be better than mine with my brother. Her younger brother really cares for her. She hangs out with her younger brother as friends, something that I wish I could do more of with my brother. I have also analyzed a lot about the sibling relationship from one family of four brothers and four sisters who are in the particular order: girl, girl, boy, boy, girl, boy, boy girl. The 2nd boy was extremely close to his brother and often ganged up with him against the younger girl that was next in line. That 3rd girl was very close and friendly with her younger brother more than with her older brothers. The 2nd boy was very close with his older sister, the 2nd girl. Both of them loved to read and study. The 2nd girl also was like a friend to him and teased him. The 2nd girl loved the 1st boy, her younger brother the most. As they grew older, the four sisters became very close and like a unit separate from the boys in their own way.
When siblings are the same gender, they often can click as friends in a way that siblings of different genders cannot. It is hard for people of different genders to tell each other everything or enjoy the same activities. It is quite common for siblings of the same gender to hang out. 
I will now write about examples from fiction. I particularly like the Santos family, a boy and four girls, from All My Children. They are in the following order: Maria, Julia, Mateo, Anita, and Rosa.

Mateo seems to be the closest and most friends with his older sister closest to him in age, Julia. He talks about how when they were young, Julia was obsessed with Cinderella and always play-acted Cinderella with him, making him play all the male parts from Prince Charming to the dog! Mateo can confide most in Julia and ask her for advice. I liked both Mateo and Anita a lot and loved the older brother-younger sister relationship so I wanted them to be close. Indeed, when Anita is on the run from their father's strict rule, Mateo welcomes her to stay with him even though his girlfriend has just moved in. It is so sweet the way that Mateo hugs Anita, relieved after she shows up at his door. I love how Anita says, "I love you!" and how when Anita says that Mateo needs to think about himself, Mateo says that that is what he is doing, that he would be worried sick if she was out on the run in an unknown place, but at peace if she is staying with him. And it is so sweet how he says that his sisters will always be a part of him and that he feels the need to protect them. I love how he appreciates that Anita is so full of life and headstrong and has to save his father from killing her spirit. Here are the clips:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbenkO-UKig
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2eU64iQT7w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Iq5rqD3D08
Then later Mateo still watches out for Anita and where she will end up staying when she insists on not cramming up his space with his girlfriend. I like how he distinguishes being protective over being overprotective:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqkpuG7eHd4
Mateo is so sweet, the way that he always tries to save Anita from the chains of their overbearing father.
Mateo also is very protective of his youngest sister, Rosa in her teenage years. He does not like her to be revealing while dressed or run around with players. I also love Mateo's relationship with Rosa whom I love.
In the Santos family, I also see that sisters can share an exclusive type of closeness separate from their brother. The four females often hang out together without Mateo. Anita also talks about how Maria, Julia, and she used to have bonding sessions when they were younger.
I love Tom and Maggie's relationship in The Mill on the Floss.

Tom and Maggie's relationship is a lot like mine with my brother. Tom and Maggie are very close and friends. Maggie worships her big brother, and Tom chastises Maggie a lot. In the end, they are "not by death divided."
I will now discuss personality traits of siblings. The only child has grown up alone and has often been pampered with all the attention. Thus, the only child syndrome involves the subconsciousness that the world revolves around you and independence. The oldest child often takes charge and the lead. Thus, the oldest child syndrome includes domination, leadership, and maturity. The younger child has often been indulged and looks up to the  older sibling. So the younger child can be a bit selfish, yet accommodating and rarely domineering. I am still trying to figure out more traits of the younger child and the middle child. Wikipedia states that the younger child is often the charmer and entertainer. I am trying to see if that is true. Someone else told me that among two sisters, the younger sister is often more social, sociable, and sophisticated, having learned from her older sister. I know that I very much have the younger child syndrome in terms of having a bit of selfishness and not being domineering. I am very happy that I was never an only child.
I would like to explore the topic of siblings in depth as a future project. My ingenious friend, Leslie had a unique, complex dance theatre piece all on siblings in the show, Snow Globe.
I will end by wrapping up my thoughts and preferences on siblings. I have always romanticized that siblings have a very loving relationship where they tell each other that they love each other, hug and kiss each other, and confide in each other about everything and affectionately tease each other. I love being in an older brother-younger sister relationship. I have often wished to also have a younger sister to dress up and take care of. However, I am glad that I got my first choice of a brother. I have also always wanted to be a part of a multiple birth. Hence, I will be writing about multiple births in a later blog. I have always wished I could live in a madhouse full of multiple siblings. I think that one can learn a lot and develop as a person through having a sibling or multiple.